Lustige Geschichte zum vorlesen – Lachtränen garaniert!





Lachende Frau

© Robert Kneschke - Fotolia.com

Stimmung pur und sorgt für Lacher – lustiger Text zum vorlesen

Lustige Geschichten und Texte zum Vorlesen auf einer Feier oder Party braucht man immer wieder, wenn nicht recht Stimmung aufkommen will.  Aber auch bei guter Stimmung ist ein solcher Text ein echtes Highlight.

Heute möchte ich Ihnen eine lustige Geschichte vorstellen, über die ich immer wieder herzlich lachen kann. Sie führt regelmäßig dazu, dass sich die Gäste gar nicht wieder beruhigen können und sich die Bäuche halten vor lachen.

Brief eines Dachdeckers an seine Versicherung

Der nachfolgende Brief ist von einem Dachdecker und ist an seine Versicherungsgesellschaft gerichtet, die ihn aufgefordert hatte, Details zu seinem schweren Unfall zu erläutern:

Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren,

in Beantwortung Ihrer Bitte um zusätzliche Informationen möchte ich Ihnen folgendes mitteilen: Bei Frage 3 des Unfallberichtes habe ich „ungeplantes Handeln“ als Ursache meines Unfalls angegeben. Sie baten mich, dies genauer zu beschreiben, was ich hiermit tun möchte:

Wie Ihnen bekannt ist, bin ich von Beruf Dachdecker. Es kommt recht häufig vor, dass ich alleine arbeite. So war es auch am Tag des Unfalls, an dem ich alleine auf dem Dach eines sechsstöckigen Neubaus arbeitete. Als ich fertig war, hatte ich eine ziemlich große Menge Ziegel übrig, die ein Gewicht von insgesamt ca. 250 kg hatten. Da ich keine Lust hatte, die Ziegel über das Treppenhaus nach unten zu tragen, beschloß ich, sie in einer Tonne an der Außenseite des Gebäudes herunter zu lassen. Die Tonne war an einem Seil befestigt, das über eine Rolle lief.

Ich band also das Seil unten fest, ging auf das Dach und belud die Tonne. Dann ging ich wieder nach unten und band das Seil los. Ich hielt es fest, um die 250kg Ziegel langsam herunterzulassen.

Wie Ihnen bereits aus meiner Unfallmeldung bekannt ist, betrug mein damaliges Körpergewicht ca. 75 kg. Da ich sehr überrascht war, als ich plötzlich den Boden unter den Füßen verlor und aufwärts gezogen wurde, verlor ich meine Geistesgegenwart und vergaß, das Seil loszulassen. Ich glaube, ich muss hier nicht sagen, dass ich mit ziemlich großer Geschwindigkeit am Gebäude emporgezogen wurde.

Etwa im Bereich des dritten Stockwerks traf ich die Tonne, die von oben kam. Man könnte auch sagen, dass mich die Tonne traf. Dies erklärt den Schädelbruch und das gebrochene Schlüsselbein.

Nur geringfügig abgebremst setzte ich meinen Aufstieg fort und hielt nicht an, bevor die Finger meiner Hand mit den forderen Fingergliedern in die Rolle gequetscht waren. Glücklicherweise behielt ich diesmal meine Geistesgegenwart und hielt mich trotz des Schmerzes mit aller Kraft am Seil fest.

Etwa zeitgleich schlug die Tonne unten am Boden auf, wobei der Boden aus der Tonne heraussprang. Ohne das Gewicht der Ziegel wog die Tonne nun etwa 25kg. Ich beziehe mich an dieser Stelle wieder auf mein Körpergewicht von 75kg. Wie Sie sich vorstellen können, sauste ich nun schnell hinab. In Höhe des dritten Stockwerkes traf ich wieder auf die Tonne, die aber diesmal von unten kam. Die Folge sind die beiden gebrochenen Knöchel und die schweren Abschürfungen an meinen Beinen und meinem Unterleib.
Glücklicherweise bremste der Zusammenstoß mit der Tonne meinen Fall, sodass meine Verletzungen beim Aufprall auf den Ziegelhaufen gering ausfielen. Ich brach mir nur drei Wirbel.

Ich bedaure jedoch, Ihnen mitteilen zu müssen, dass ich, als ich da auf dem Ziegelhaufen lag und die leere Tonne sechs Stockwerke über mir sah, nochmals meine Geistesgegenwart verlor! Ich ließ das Seil los, um mich zur Seite zu rollen, aber die Tonne war schneller, weil sie diesmal ungebremst herunterkam. Sie schlug mir drei Zähne aus und brach mir das Nasenbein.

Die Folgen der Geschichte: Bisher wurden insgesamt drei Versicherungsangestellte wegen chronischem Lachkrampf ins Krankenhaus eingeliefert. Sie sind aber alle auf dem Wege der Besserung.

Am besten, Sie verteilen vor dem Vorlesen Tempo-Taschentücher für die Lachtränen.

Ich jedenfalls wünsche Ihnen lachende Gäste!

Herzlichst Ihre Sylvia Preuß

 

1.181 Antworten auf Lustige Geschichte zum vorlesen – Lachtränen garaniert!

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